


This Is Where You Want ...

by Ihavealotoffeelings



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Ableism, Ethnocentrism, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Other, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 09:42:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17180567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihavealotoffeelings/pseuds/Ihavealotoffeelings
Summary: So the real PT Barnum and the treatment of people by the circus was/is horrible and I have a lot of strong feelings about thatBut in the movie, those people are beautiful.So main character goes from their timeline of 2018, where PT was more horrible to the Greatest Showman better universe and gets to meet everyoneAlso Zendaya is the most pure amazing ray of sunshine, all of her acting and dancing is so moving so ofc I love Anne Wheeler/PhillipEnough of my opinions this is about happiness and fluffBy chapter 4? 5? i may get to the sad aspsects of the time period, alluding to violence, prejudice, maybe even sexual assaultI was happy writing all the unrelastically positive, big family stuffBut i watched an old-time period movie and now im sad and i want to show how these characters cope and treat eachother despite lifes painThe OC can relate to some stuff





	1. Chapter 1

The people from the circus were so beautiful. So bright and powerful. It was a wonder you were able to land here, in this dimension where PT Barnum was good instead of the crap fest that you know of in your timeline, coming from 2018  
No, these people were happy, and beautiful.

You cheered so loud from the tent entrance at Anne and the new ringmasters kiss. You didnt have the money to enter, certainly not the proper coins so you huddled with a group of children and bystanders to see the finale. 

After everyone did their bows, they had the animals wave their trunks or arms wave as they lead them behind the tent.

That was partially why you were here, to investigate how they were treated. So you skirted around the bay to the stables, knelt behind a crate and watched. 

The lions were walked beside to a secluded barn with a padded chain door. How they got them tame was less of a mystery when you saw some of the crew throw giant slabs of meat into the pen. Cow, you guessed. You would have to look into that. At least there was water and room.

Then the elephants. You were particularly interested in this as in your timeline elephants where repeatedly mistreated in this time period and later, sometimes even tortured for amusement. And there was a baby elephant. 

You sighed a bit relieved; the baby and presumably it;s mom trotted to a spacious barn with piles of straw on the bottom. A dancer carried a large tray full of grass and roots and placed it through a makeshift slot, the two ate it speedily. The other elephants were sent to similar rooms right next to them.

You were glad, things seemed to be ok.

You glanced over at the light spilling through the open tent ahead, to the dancers mingling and taking off their props. The trapeze goddess, Anne clapped the chalk off her hands, unraveling the wraps. Mr. Carlisle walked beside her congratulating everybody on a job well done. Eventually he placed a hand on the small of Annes back-it seemed new to him- and she looked up happily. You could see their lips moving but couldn't make it out. But you could see her take his other hand and move closer so they were walking arm to arm and head to shoulder. Awww 

"Hey" a gruff voice announced behind you. You flipped back ready to run, not ready to trust anyone in this time.  
The source of the voice put his hands up. It was the tattooed man, Constantine, you think was his stage man.  
He was sitting on a crate in between tall grass, taking his boots off.  
His cape was off so it was just his entire upper body, filled with drawings against the waves behind him.  
"I wasnt...I'll leave" you sputter  
"Do you want some food?" He asked, voice lighter. His eyebrows raised in understanding sincerity and you looked back to the troughs.  
  
"Oh uh that's not why I'm here but thank you..im actually checking on your animals"  
  
You hear a quiet laugh from him as he takes off his other boot  
  
"Not to steal them I just worry..they're really far from home is all"  
  
He looks back at you shrugging  
"check them all you want" he stands up  
"Good night little weird girl" he concludes, walking towards the ocean  
  
Well, you thought. That could have gone worse.  
  
You emerged from the animal quarters to the crews space. You knew The Bearded Lady was kind of the mom of the group at least in your timeline. She could let you in.  
  
"M'am?" You ask her once she's done washing off her makeup


	2. Chapter 2

She turns to you in her chair seeing your from her handheld mirror  
Shes surprised 

"Hello..can I help you?"  
"Yes actually um I was wondering if I could work here...not as a talent but I can help set up or feed the animals or stitch costumes"  
She smiled 

"Well if it were up to me itd be a yes, you clearly need some meat on those bones. But you'll have to ask mr Carlisle, I'm sure he'll let you"

You grin but are deterred  
"thanks..oh by the way idk if this helps but theres a performer hanging out..I mean wading out in the ocean.."  
you add pointing your thumb towards the tattoos 

'Oh yea. He does that dont worry about him"  
"Ok"

You go to Phillip sitting with Anne and the other performers. Cheng and Eng are telling a story making everyone in the circle laugh. 

With everyone there Philip can't say no to you, and he doesn't seem to want to.  
"Ofcourse we can always use the extra help. Let Lettie know I agreed and we'll get you a mat to sleep on. Welcome to the circus"  
You shake his hand genuinly grinning. 

Anne adds "why don't you try performing with us?" 

"Oh I don't have an act" 

"Everyone has an act" she reassures you  
"We'll work on it" she adds. 

You thank her profusely without trying to impose, a part of you really wanted to perform but a greater part knew you shouldn't.  
\---

The next morning you start by sweeping and cleaning. But the crew treats you like any one of them. They shake your hand and slap you on the back and invite you to sit with them for breakfast. They're really like a family. 

Anne's older brother is beautiful, you notice as everyone eats. His eyes in particular are great to look at. As are a lot of the performers. The Woman in Gold, without all the gold makeup is still gorgeous. Then there's Constantine. He was certainly not bad to look at in the slightest. Off stage he wore a shirt, which you admittedly thought was a bit disappointing.  
Everyone was equal here. Everyone helped eachother and included the other in their jokes. The strong men helped carry the smaller but strong women so that they could fly and flip and twirl, in dresses no less. 

It's evident that Phillip has a substantial amount of money over the majority of the crew, as he tries to not look disgusted at the pot mush on his plate. It's amusing. 

 

Later that day Anne and some of the other female dancers practice blocking, and try to rope you into it. 

"Come on, you don't have to be great at it half of us never danced before" 

"I just don't know if this is where I should help" 

"Ok imagine the show is yours, what would you want to do" 

"Well I can sing..a bit. And I don't think I am brave enough to do trapeze but I did use to be some kind of a gymnast, I had to climb a lot and I can-" 

You twist your body so you fall completely backwards in a circle titlting your head back, curling your back and buckling your knees so it's a perfect spin, like you were never standing straight. Its not incredible flexibility; its just a system. Then you wrap one foot around the chair they have set up, sprawl out and lift yourself a bit in the air, reach your arm out and grab the chalk which was once so far away from you. Youre floating 

 

"And sometimes I think I'd be good at pole-vault" you conclude standing up. You don't know where all the sudden chutzpah came from but you did it. 

"Damn. I don't know what pole-vault is but you definitely have an act!" Anne claps  
You blush 

The ladies circle around you  
"You're small like me" she holds out your stick of a forearm  
"We can use that..twiggy.."

You can't break your smile. It's never been a good thing before, not really. Even when you made yourself this way, it never felt good. 

"Twiggy, pins and needles..idk" one of them tried to come up with a name.  
You weren't exactly fond of the needles implication 

"Weird little girl.." you mentioned, remembering last night

Anne shakes her head  
"Weird little lady maybe..little lady. Huh, I can work with that. I mean you're not little like Charles" 

Phillips calls "opening rehearsal in 10 everyone!" From a bull horn 

You usher yourself to the side and watch everyone flurry to their posts, stretching and chatting

10 minutes feels like 2 as they are already singing the opening number 

It's a bit uneven but still remarkable. Anne flies around a bit on the hoops just from left to right stage.  
Constantine, you noticed bends down so somone leaps off his back, they're all smiles.  
They pound the sandy wooden mat to the beat. They're so fierce. 

You find yourself humming with them. 

After it's done there's whooping and cheers. Shared drinking canteens which you wish you could help stop but what do you have to fix it?  
You love seeing everyone proud of themselves and eachother. 

\----


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk if you noticed but Prince Constantine was hot af so there's gonna be a lot of that  
> Also the actor who plays "Dog Man" is hot af and a lot of the female dancers in my opinon

After your chores you join your new friends again by the hammocks. 

Someone asks where you came from which you can only look down for an answer. 

"Well..wherever it was. You're one of us now" Lettie says patting your shoulder. 

You're already gonna cry.  
A couple "aww" s ring out, you brush it away. 

"What's wrong?" Phillip asks, joining you. 

"If you were in danger you're safe now" Anne's older brother tells you, people nod. You look into his beautiful eyes and thank him

"We defend our own here, just ask Constantine"  
Anne adds. They smile as if remembering something. You assumed he beat a bigot judging by his muscles. 

He smiled but explains seriously  
"If someone hurts you we will take care of them"  
He doesn't need to flex his arms resting on the hammock to prove it. He has a tank top on from practice, legs hanging out the side. You believe him. 

You nod thanking all of them again. 

Later that day you feed the leftover dinner to the animals while watching their last run through. It's incredible, again. "I'm not scared, to be seen, I make no apologies, this is me!" 

They stare down the invisible audience, grinning so hard it's impossible, beating off their chests or throwing up their arms in pride. Anne's determined face is specifically is inspiring. Constantine' s smile is just as fierce. You will live, you will shine your light. You won't go back to the world you were living in. Here you all are. The music beats in your ears and pumps in your blood.

You turn to the baby elephant like dumbo, kiss their leather taught forehead and run to the stands. 

You plop yourself down with the other workers in the front row, clapping and whooping.  
Lettie does her solo  
"there's nothing Im not woooorthy of! Look out cause here I come!! Gonna drown them ouuuut!"  
It's so powerful and impossibly loud.

After the last flips and runs the beat stops and they breathe to bow  
"Wooooo!! Hell yea!" You scream , happy laughs.  
They bow a few more times and wipe the sweat off their face.

You clap people's hands to congratulate them.  
"So what do ya think? You wanna join?" Anne asks beaming  
You look to everyone  
"Yea..ok"  
"Ok!?"  
"Ok!"  
More clapping  
\------  
The next day you start rehearsing. You got the dances and chorus quicker than you thought you would. When there's the right music, you can really move.

But you're still grateful for the amount of people in front of you, in case you mess up. The music is slower as some practice cartwheels and Anne starts to mount a hoop with her brother.  
She motions you to get into a block with the other petite dancers. You three trott backwards clapping to the rhythm.  
"Cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open" You gaze happily to the main stage performers so much you don't notice you're running out of block to walk on. It all happens so fast 

"And the world becomes a fantasy" The front row dances in a circle, weaving in and out, but one person leaves, not greatly altering anything. 

"And you're more than you could ever be" Your bare foot reaches to find nothing but air, so quickly you hardly feel yourself slipping. Just as quickly a hand pulls your side down to another arm to catch you. 

"Because you're dreaming with your eyes wide open" All of a sudden your laying against 2 arms and a bare chest, being carried swiftly to the back line of dancers. He sets you down and runs back to his spot in the front. You catch one glimpse; the black slicked hair and tattoes. 

"So come alive!"  
Everyone does their last moves and bows, another successful practice. No one seemed to notice what happened or at least didn't care.

Phillip hugged Anne adorably then announced on the bullhorn "Great job everybody! Constantine, nice catch!" He winks to you for a second before walking back with everyone to the mats. 

"Gotta be more careful, Little Lady" The "Dog Man" reminds you. You nod sincerely. That was your new stage name, you guess, not bad. 

Lettie and the two albino women strolled up next to you. She reassured you  
"You'll get use to it. Sometimes it feels like we gotta look 6 directions at once. Good thing Constantine was watching out" 

People were scrubbing their arms with rags and sprawling onto the mats.  
"Yea I was surprised I didn't see him coming"  
Her and the performers fail to stifle a laugh at that. You raise your eyebrows but shake your head and chose to ignore it.

You go for one last check on the animals to find the man of conversation sitting on his crate, peeling his boots off once more.  
You were glad.

"Hey thank you for catching me back there" you say smiling while passing a meal through the lions cage slot. They still gave you the chills because as much as you loved animals, you knew their biological dispositions. 

"Ofcourse" he replies, softer than you expected.  
"Welcome to the team, weird Little Lady" he adds, slinging his cape off and was that...a wink?

It was dark and you were dehydrated but that was most definitely a wink. Somehow it was kind. He didn't wait to clarify as he turned around to return to the ocean once more. You smiled to yourself. 

He waded until the water reached his thighs, bending down to splash his face clean. Droplets poured off his curly beard.  
When he turned around it looked like he expected you to be gone like the first night. He was nervous, like a kid caught in the cookie jar or in this case, half naked and alone in the Atlantic Ocean.

You quickly turned to run away but jammed your knee against the cage.  
One of the lions snapped back at this making you yelp and back away.

"You ok?" He called.  
You nodded ";yea..goodnight!"  
You called back speed walking away

"Goodnight" he whispered, and smiled to himself as well. 

 

You thought about the..lift, that night staring up at the stars through the tent opening. You knew how women were generally treated in this time period. But you also saw so much respect among the circus people you couldn't have imagined. You admitted it felt nice. Well ofcourse, not smacking your head against the stage floor was always a relief. But the way to the ground was... You could admit that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has become very OC centric  
> /:  
> But idk if I'll stop

A few days later Anne allows you to try your hand at her ropes while she goes on a date with Phillip. 

The date is them eating a picnic on the beach with practically the entire crew spying on them. 

You get all the details from Lettie later but for now, you're gonna try flying.

You spin around the room, only a few feet off the ground but it's really  
fun. You eventually climb so you're entirely dependent on the rope and try doing some of cool 'no hands' things Anne does. That doesn't go as well. 

You nearly fall to the ground but catch yourself with a sigh. You are determined to do something. 

After some more attempts and fun circling you decide you should be able to at least flip through the hoop well enough. 

If you could only reach it. You try jumping you try running you try climbing but it is just too far from everything and too high. 

The Woman in Gold passes the stage on her way to the date-viewing.  
"Hey do you need help?" She kindly asks  
"Oh thank you I might" you admit 

"I'll go get Constantine, he doesn't want to watch Anne's date anyway" she offers, running to the performers room.

"Oh... thank you" you are surprised 

Eventually he enters and you awkwardly wave  
"Didn't want to see the action huh?"  
He scoffs and laughs at the same time  
"Didn't think it was my business. What do you need?"

You point to the hoop and apologize for the inconvenience. He shakes his head again, jumps once, and brings the bar down. "Thank you" "Don't mention it" 

You're happy you're able to lift yourself up without a flaw. You flip around until you're sitting inside the hoop, smiling in satisfaction. 

He points to the blocks used to elevate it to ask what you want to do.  
You grip the sides tight and nod.

He releases the block and you soar into the ceiling or close to it.  
"Woah" you gasp smiling. He smiles too.  
You rotate your shins so the hoop twirls around. It's beautiful.

There is only so much fun you can have with this for so long, so after a good amount of time he pulls the rope down for you to return.  
As he's not performing he is bare foot, but wearing long pants and an open button up white shirt, rolled up at the sleeves. His hair isn't poofed liked for the show, but slicked back.  
Even his feet have tattoes, you can see.

He stops pulling for a moment so you look to him. He looks up then down at the rope again, yanking it to no avail. 

"Its stuck" he deduces.  
Well, its not the worst thing in the world, you thought. 

You know its too high for you to just leap off so you slowly ease yourself until you are hanging off the hoop by your hands. 

You knees are level to his chin now.  
He meets you understanding the sitiation and reaches his arms up, luckily his hands can reach your rib cage. 

You see the others eyes for a second, the moment of trust.  
He smiles to the ground and its kind and adorable. 

You can see one hand wrap around your waist, he has stars and letters etched across the knuckles.  
The other forearm supports your upper thighs suggesting you to come down now. 

You let one hand go then the other until you have slid down and can lean your palms on his shoulders. For a moment you look out across the stage.  
Your hip is rest against his chest, his arms holding you up. Its really calm. 

When you finally look back down you see him smiling at you, the sun light making his dark eyebrows a bit ligher and highlighting the shapes of and on his face

You slide down until your barefeet touch the floor, and the tips of his own feet.  
His hands rest on your waist. 

You lock eyes then look down and smile  
"Thank you" 

"Youre welcome" 

He smiles centimeters from your hair, at the ground then you.

\---  
On the beach Anne and Phillip do the same. Anne leans out a bit to meet his eyes.   
Her hand raises to his jacket and his to her chin.   
\---

You lean out from Constantine, examine the lines under his eyes and across his nose.   
Stare at eachother for a second.   
\----  
Anne and Phillip lean in meeting their lips.  
\-----  
You and Constantine lean out, afraid.   
\----

The crew woots and cheers at the kiss, making Phillip blush and Anne laugh. And you and Constantine jolt surpised. 

He immeediately drops his hands from your sides, you both take a step out.   
You look to the sea and he grunt-sighs. 

Smile at eachother awkwardly and go to join the crowd, on seperate sides.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping together  
> (;  
> \--  
> After i started writing this i watched sad movie which maks me want to write their happiness more bc i have to believe that,  
> There were people in the past that treated eachother respectfully, there were consensual good romances, there were people who worked together and recognized their differences and werent ashamed of what peopld thought of it  
> I have to believe that

Its your 2nd week there. Youve gotten use to the chores and practice routine, meals and sleeping. 

So much so you notice when Anne or Phillip arent in their usual mats, or he doesnt return home to his mansion.

You knew by the customes they werent likely sexually- sleeping together, and since their clothes stayed in the exact position as the night before, if a bit wrinkled, you guessed they were doing the adorable: literally sleeping with eachother. 

You were so happy for them. 

Passing WD to the barn you studied him, wanting to know what he thought about it, if he knew

"Annes always the first one up, isnt she?" You ask

He smiles folding his arms to look down at you 

"Yes, Anne and Phillip have been sharing a cot these past few nights, but dont go on telling everyone. Some people here cant keep a secret, and im not letting her get hurt let alone the rest of us" 

"I understand, the secrets safe i promise."  
You squeeze his arm and stare into his eyes reassuringly then go tend to the animals

 

Some of the other animal caretakers are sitting watching the sunrise, theyre mostly all girls or women. 

"Morning" you tell them

They smile which makes you smile. 

"Oh, Eva" you remember, ruffling through your pockets

"I found this down the beach...i remebered you saying how your mom use to give you one for your birthday...its not your birthday but" 

You hand her a small conch shell.  
She takes it carefully, tearing up

"Thank you" she sniffles hugging you for the first time, you were surprised but appreciative

"Ive never seen one like this" she adds

"Yea well it actually can do something, you hold it up to your ear and it sounds like the ocean" you show her 

She gasps in awe at it than you  
"It does!" 

You giggle  
"And here i picked up some shells for you too, Romina, Szofia, Bessie" You handed one to each of them Their grins were so warming. Eva passed around the conch shells. 

You gazed over them constantly relieved by their presense. For most of them the circus was a refuge from the brothels they were forced or born into. No more men screaming graphic threats at them, no more stifling your crying each night, no more having to smile through seas of drunk men, fearing they might kill if you somehow displease them. The stories they told still haunted you with concern. How could people be so cruel? That was why they couldnt perform on stage, in case past customers saw them and threw them to the police, where God knows what they would do them. 

The pain they brought with them was so unfair and gut wrenching, like the few moments WD, Anne, the Woman in Gold, and others talked about what they had escaped from, southern slave owners and families that controlled every aspect of their lives. Here they were free of that too. Seeing them laughing, singing, feeling safe was the best. 

You thought of all this then turned to the two lions. Compared with the monsters the crew had faced, you imagined the caged carnivores that once nearly mauled Daniel, and killed an innocent peasant family mind you, were...far less frightening. 

After washing the elephants and starting off their grass, you bid a good day to your friends and went for morning rehearsal.

"Full dress rehearsal ok everyone, shows tomorrow!" Phillip announced

You wondered what you would wear as a costume, but didnt say anything as not to bother anyone. 

As you were thinking that a lump of fabric fell on your back. 

You turned surprised "oh, thank you Charles" you said as he evidentally had thrown it to you from his white horse. 

He nodded. 

You unfolded it and hung it in the air.  
Hm, you thought.

That looks...odd.


End file.
